one glorious day without cooking

Some days, you just don’t feel like cooking. For me, that’s most days. Nevertheless, I’ve fought the calling to be the Queen of Takeout during the past 11 days (ELEVEN days? That’s it?) and buckled down in the kitchen. Frying pan in one hand, knife and cutting board in the other, I’ve battled my lazy urges and arisen, for the most part, victorious. Paleo for the win! Junk-free cooking all day every day.

Sometimes, however, laziness wins. Luckily, I’ve still managed to eat clean all day – even on a day without cooking. Whaaaaat? Tell me more, you say?

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the best chicken salad I’ve ever made

I have an unhealthy relationship with chicken salad. I’ve been known to accidentally eat an entire over-sized tub of this chicken salad (a Costco favorite) in, well, far less time than it should take one person to consume 40 oz of chicken salad.  Chicken salad includes some of my favorite things – mayonnaise, chicken, and fruit – so what could be better?

Granted, as much as I like chicken salad, I’ve never actually made it myself. Why reinvent the wheel when so many people are so much better at making chicken salad than I am? Well, when you’re eating clean, you realize that almost all those “other people” who are happy to mass produce chicken salad do not care about us little cavepeople. If I wanted chicken salad, it is up to me to hunt for a recipe and make it myself.

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la mujer de las cavernas

Remember earlier this week when I was so excited to find salsa with no preservatives or science words right on Kroger’s shelf? Well apparently all that positive energy went from my head and my heart straight into the fridge, because yesterday my salsa was so full of joy that it leaped out of its chilly refuge and landed, quite ungracefully, on the floor. It spread and spread and spread like the Blob all over my unfortunate white tile.

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do carrots have carbs? and other vegetable mysteries

So here’s the deal. I have type 1 diabetes. (Shocking! If you need to stop reading for a minute to process this new info, I understand.)

One bright day in May 2004, my pancreas went on vacation and never returned. Now, said pancreas is a squatter in my body, just hanging out and not paying rent. Since this lazy organ doesn’t do its job, I do all the work, which means every time I eat I have to give myself insulin. I’m lucky to have fab insurance that pays for this snazzy pink insulin pump. The pump means that instead of giving myself a shot every time I eat, I push buttons on this beeper/ipod thingy and insulin travels down the clear tubing and into my body through my pretty pink infusion site, currently attached to my leg. One shot every three days to change the site, and voila! insulin on demand, anytime. I am part woman, part robot.


Skin looks super weird up close. Ignore that part.

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As promised, I made this paleo-friendly Chickfila sauce this morning. And it is fantastic. As a condiment connoisseur, I would say it more closely resembles a honey mustard than actual Chickfila sauce, but it is seriously yum-o. Run, don’t walk, to your pantry and assemble this creamy concoction. You will thank me later.

Last night I braved the world outside my kitchen for happy hour at the Peabody ($1.50 wine Wednesday!) and dinner at Papapia’s (half-price wine bottles and $5 pizza). I survived! And I didn’t cheat! It is truly a miracle.

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my soup is leeking!

As you know, I have survived three days of paleo. Well, 2 1/2 days if you want to be specific. And I am feeling fabulous. Instead of focusing on what I am not eating, let me share with you, inquisitive reader, a breakdown of delicious meals I have devoured.

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Her Royal Heinz-ness

One of my lovely fellow paleo-ers (shout out to Katherine, my favorite titanium woman!) posted this link on our bible/support group/guidebook website, explaining the timeline for symptoms of these 30 days. Now, prepare yourself, dear reader, for what I’m about to disclose. You may want to sit down.

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