goodbye cheese.

This is just a small sampling of the junk that I threw out yesterday.

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Oprah could probably host a “favorite things” show with the amount of delicious food, drink, and condiments that I donated, trashed, and gave away yesterday. It was hard. Very hard. But I know willpower is not my strongest asset, so it had to be out of my house in order for me to resist temptation. Goodbye sour cream. Goodbye leftovers. Goodbye salt and vinegar chips. Goodby Diet Dr. Pepper. Goodbye Kraft Poppyseed dressing. Goodbye cheese.

.

.

Having rid my pantry and fridge of all things processed, dairy, and delicious, I set out on the shopping adventure to top all shopping adventures.

First stop: Williams-Sonoma.

Wait….what?

If I am going to torture myself for a month, I better have the right tools. And if I am not going to be eating my feelings for thirty days, I might as well shop my feelings. So I bought myself a pretty new lemon/lime juicer. Isn’t it cute?

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(I think even Alton Brown could forgive me for buying this single-use gadget as solace for having emptied out my home of all things delicious.)

I then ventured to Kroger for an exercise in “what does a leek look like” and “coconut milk… comes in a can?” and “do.not.make.eye.contact.with.dressing.aisle.”

This is my Kroger cart:

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  • More veggies than I have ever purchased in a month, let alone one week.
  • A sweet potato. Not my favorite, but here’s to trying new things.
  • Coconut milk
  • Light olive oil
  • Fancy balsamic vinegar
  • Free range chicken at Kroger? Hurray! One less thing I have to buy at Whole Foods.
  • Kroger brand Restaurant-Style Salsa: I checked the ingredient list, and it is paleo! Even more so than more expensive national brands. A cheap cheat? I will take it!
  • Lemons. Lots of Lemons. Lemons take boring old water and tea and make it much prettier and refreshing and delicious. They will make me forget I ever knew the fizzy glory of Diet Coke, right? fingerscrossed.
  • (PS the mayo in the cart is not mine. My shopping companion was not doing paleo. Shame on him for tempting me with luxuries such as mayo!)

Knowing that Kroger cows get to eat McDonalds french fries and ice cream and lollipops (or corn. Maybe just corn.), my next stop was Whole Foods for some good ol’ grass-fed beef. (If I can’t have those things, I’m not eating a cow who got to enjoy them. No sir.)

I kind of felt like this as I was chatting with the Whole Foods butcher:

After assurance that my cows lived happy lives on a farm somewhere in Tennessee before heading to the big farm in the sky, I bought more meat than I ever have in one trip. I ended up with pounds and pounds of delicious steak, chicken sausage, nitrate-free bacon, free range local eggs, coconut oil, local honey, turkey, and ham.

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When I got home, I was so proud of my purchases that I spread them all over my kitchen counter:

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I can assure you that my kitchen counter has never looked so green.

Now, given the option to eat this healthy stuff or risk wasting more than $300 (yikes) that I spent on it, my cheap self is going to eat it. I have no choice but to be paleo, because paleo is all that I have in my house. What a nasty little trick I have played on myself.

So, here’s to (somewhat involuntarily) turning over a new leaf!

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2 thoughts on “goodbye cheese.

  1. Pingback: la mujer de las cavernas | paleobetes

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